n a t b s

Andrew was depressed. He knew something that few others did. Certainly he wasn’t arrogant enough to think he was the only one who had figured it out, but he was part of a select group that had. Oh sure, most people knew it on some level, hence the proliferation of anti-depressents and all forms of self-medication. Hence centuries of art and metaphor, hence the obviousness of it in the bible, and the book ishmael, and the show Battlestar Galactica, and the book land of the spotted eagle, and the book 1984, and etc etc etc. Most high art makes some allusion to it. People knew, but it was too big to admit. Perhaps he was just brave enough to admit it to himself, or stupid enough. What good was this knowledge? There’s very little you can do with it except be sad. Indeed, he was sad and he knew that there was no remedy, for the cause of his sadness was far too massive, far to unchangeable for one mere man to do anything about it. It would take an act of God to relieve his pain. And unfortunately for Andrew, God sure likes to take his sweet time.
The secret that was driving Andrew, and all of humanity, slowly mad was that he was a slave. That we are all slaves. Slaves to our own hubris, slaves to the idea that we know what to do and how to live and how to run things. Slaves to this great responsibility that we were never given but took for ourselves. Forced to work as hard as possible at destroying our own home, a precious gift from the universe that took billions of years to form, and we are wiping it out very quickly. So quickly in fact that Andrew wonders if it’s not already damaged beyond repair. Even if it isn’t it’s damaged far to much for him to enjoy it in his fleeting lifetime and this is what was depressing him. Yes, he was a slave, and so was everyone else. The master? Our hubris and greed and nothing more. Oh the irony, the painful, gut-wrenching irony. If it weren’t so sad it would be funny. Hell, it’s kinda funny anyway. Look at the fools, all convinced to death of their freedom yet all suffering from psychological problems that we cannot pinpoint, because a doctor will never tell you that you’re depressed because society is flawed. Why are we so self-destrutive and impudent and stupid? Andrew could thing of no good way to change the world so he thought he’d at least try to find out the answer to that question, perhaps that would help him determine a course of action…or at least understand the situation, just for understanding’s sake. If he could just undermine it even in the littlest way possible, that would ease the pain. Yes, had to find a way to undermine it, or risk losing his mind entirely.

Let me tell you a story of early days: Meat was once low in the village and a number of hunters went out to bring in some buffalo which were, at that particular time, scarce. Only three animals were found to be divided among every person in the camp. Even the hunters who could have availed themselves of a feast did not do so, and though the portions were small, everyone was served.

Now, hunger is a hard thing to bear, but not so hard when all are sharing the same want in the same degree; but it is doubly hard to bear when all about is plenty which the hungry dare not touch. Sentences imposed upon those who, through hunger, take for their staving bodies, are to me inconceivably cruel, even to my now altered and accustomed viewpoint. For one man with full stomach to heap more misery upon one with an empty stomach is savage beyond compare. Perhaps I sense the degradation all the more, having tasted the sweetness of the life of my forefathers.

-Luther Standing Bear

Two lovely legends of the Lakotas would be fine subjects for sculpturing — the Black Hills as the earth mother, and the story of the genesis of the tribe. Instead, the face of a white man is being outlined on the face of a stone cliff in the Black Hills. This beautiful region, of which the Lakota thought more than any other spot on earth, caused him the most pain and misery. These hills were to become prized by the white people for reasons far different from those of the Lakota. To the Lakota the magnificent forests and splendid herds were incomparable in value. To the white man everything was valueless except the gold in the hills. Toward the Indian the white people were absolutely devoid of sentiment, and when a people lack sentiment they are without compassion. So down went the Black Forrest and to death went the last buffalo, noble animal and immemorial friend of the Lakota. As for the people who were as native to the soil as the forests and the buffalo — well, the gold-seekers did not understand them and never have. The white man will never know the horror and the utter bewilderment of the Lakota at the wanton destruction of the buffalo. What cruelty has not been glossed over with the white man’s word — enterprise! If the Lakotas had been relinquishing any part of their territory voluntarily, the Black Hills would have been the last from the standpoint of traditional sentiment. So when by false treaties and trickery the Black Hills were forever lost, they were a broken people. The treaties, made supposedly to recompense them for the loss of this lovely region, were like all other treaties — worthless. But could the Lakota braves have foreseen the ignominy they were destined to endure, every man would have died fighting rather than give up his homeland to live in subjection and helplessness.

-Luther Standing Bear

True, the white man brought great change. But the varied fruits of his civilization, though highly colored and inviting, are sickening and deadening. And if it be the part of civilization to maim, rob, and thwart, then what is progress?

I am going to venture that the man who sat on the ground in his tipi meditating on life and its meaning, accepting the kinship of all creatures, and acknowledging unity with the universe of things, was infusing into his being the true essence of civilization…

-Chief Luther Standing Bear

Star Trek has to be one of the most popular mainstream visions of a utopian human future.  It sees our current path, and basically extrapolates one of the better outcomes.  In this utopian world, science has basically solved every problem.  There is no scarcity, of energy or materials, and medicine has cured most disease.  Surely, we would all agree that such a world is a general ultimate goal of the path we’re on.  But there’s something else that’s interesting about that world; the people aren’t human.  I mean, sure, they’re biologically human (except for the aliens), but what I mean is that they’re not emotionally human.  They’re too rational, too regimented.  Too perfect.  Ron Moore saw this, and tried to inject some humanity into the characters (Family).  But I guess my point is, our system is so unnatural, so alienating of our basic nature, that in the perfect vision of our ideal future, we cease to be people.  We’re perfect cogs in the machine we built, but we’re not people.  This is the path we are on, and this is the source of most problems.  It’s the reason the situation normal is all fucked up.

I’M ALIVE!

I’M A HUMAN BEING!!!!!