n a t b s

Andrew was depressed. He knew something that few others did. Certainly he wasn’t arrogant enough to think he was the only one who had figured it out, but he was part of a select group that had. Oh sure, most people knew it on some level, hence the proliferation of anti-depressents and all forms of self-medication. Hence centuries of art and metaphor, hence the obviousness of it in the bible, and the book ishmael, and the show Battlestar Galactica, and the book land of the spotted eagle, and the book 1984, and etc etc etc. Most high art makes some allusion to it. People knew, but it was too big to admit. Perhaps he was just brave enough to admit it to himself, or stupid enough. What good was this knowledge? There’s very little you can do with it except be sad. Indeed, he was sad and he knew that there was no remedy, for the cause of his sadness was far too massive, far to unchangeable for one mere man to do anything about it. It would take an act of God to relieve his pain. And unfortunately for Andrew, God sure likes to take his sweet time.
The secret that was driving Andrew, and all of humanity, slowly mad was that he was a slave. That we are all slaves. Slaves to our own hubris, slaves to the idea that we know what to do and how to live and how to run things. Slaves to this great responsibility that we were never given but took for ourselves. Forced to work as hard as possible at destroying our own home, a precious gift from the universe that took billions of years to form, and we are wiping it out very quickly. So quickly in fact that Andrew wonders if it’s not already damaged beyond repair. Even if it isn’t it’s damaged far to much for him to enjoy it in his fleeting lifetime and this is what was depressing him. Yes, he was a slave, and so was everyone else. The master? Our hubris and greed and nothing more. Oh the irony, the painful, gut-wrenching irony. If it weren’t so sad it would be funny. Hell, it’s kinda funny anyway. Look at the fools, all convinced to death of their freedom yet all suffering from psychological problems that we cannot pinpoint, because a doctor will never tell you that you’re depressed because society is flawed. Why are we so self-destrutive and impudent and stupid? Andrew could thing of no good way to change the world so he thought he’d at least try to find out the answer to that question, perhaps that would help him determine a course of action…or at least understand the situation, just for understanding’s sake. If he could just undermine it even in the littlest way possible, that would ease the pain. Yes, had to find a way to undermine it, or risk losing his mind entirely.

True, the white man brought great change. But the varied fruits of his civilization, though highly colored and inviting, are sickening and deadening. And if it be the part of civilization to maim, rob, and thwart, then what is progress?

I am going to venture that the man who sat on the ground in his tipi meditating on life and its meaning, accepting the kinship of all creatures, and acknowledging unity with the universe of things, was infusing into his being the true essence of civilization…

-Chief Luther Standing Bear

Star Trek has to be one of the most popular mainstream visions of a utopian human future.  It sees our current path, and basically extrapolates one of the better outcomes.  In this utopian world, science has basically solved every problem.  There is no scarcity, of energy or materials, and medicine has cured most disease.  Surely, we would all agree that such a world is a general ultimate goal of the path we’re on.  But there’s something else that’s interesting about that world; the people aren’t human.  I mean, sure, they’re biologically human (except for the aliens), but what I mean is that they’re not emotionally human.  They’re too rational, too regimented.  Too perfect.  Ron Moore saw this, and tried to inject some humanity into the characters (Family).  But I guess my point is, our system is so unnatural, so alienating of our basic nature, that in the perfect vision of our ideal future, we cease to be people.  We’re perfect cogs in the machine we built, but we’re not people.  This is the path we are on, and this is the source of most problems.  It’s the reason the situation normal is all fucked up.

I’M ALIVE!

I’M A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

When Bush “won” the election in 2000 it was so close and questionable, that when he started doing crazy shit we were extra critical of it.  Not that he didn’t deserve extreme critisism, but it was even easier to hate him and be angry becuase of the 2000 election.  Also the contrast with the prosperous ninites made it easy to hate him.  On the other hand, the election of 2008 comes right after Bush’s reign and the psyoclogical mindfuck he put us all through, so Obama’s presidency will probably look great by comparison and maybe cement the popularity of liberal ideals for a generation.  Yeah.

Growing up in the happy-go-lucky nineties, I learned a lot about the ideals of America, and I believed in those ideals; I was too naive not to.  Getting older and learning about our dubious history, and witnessing our present in the time of Bush, was a painful realization that we hardly live up to those ideals; that that stuff I used to believe as a kid was a myth not unlike Santa clause and the tooth fairy.  George Bush has been the president my entire adult life.  And now, the way I feel about the election of Barack Obama, is kind of like finding out Santa clause is real.  His rise and victory, more than his politics, means something.  It reminds us that America isn’t all talk.  We can put our money where our mouth is and do the right thing.  We can do something unprecedented and once again lead the way.  Yes America is an amazing country, this proves that once again.  And that’s why I felt so good last night, and why I feel so good now, and why so many people in the world do too.  I’ve never seen such joy and jubilation over a presidential election, people were literally dancing in the streets all over the world.  And yes, he’s black, and this country was founded on slavery, and 40 years ago they didn’t have equal rights, and yes that is amazing and wonderful.  It hit me right after they announced it, even though I knew it was going to happen, I didn’t feel it until it was official.  About, 11:02 I’d say, I started to cry.  It was a beautiful night.  Maybe one of the happiest the world has ever known.  We have the hope of a new beginning.

Also, for the first time in my lifetime I can say these words without sarcasm: America, fuck yeah!