n a t b s

[Note(9/01/09): Unfinished and past it's prime, but what the hell, why let it fester in drafts forever?]

Presidential historian Bob Williams made an interesting discovery last week while doing some research on the 21st century, “I was reading about the 2004 election, and I discoved something shocking: George W. Bush is actually still the president,” said Williams.  Yes, apparently the grossly unpopular president is still in charge of things.  In fact, “he will be president for another four months.”

When Bush “won” the election in 2000 it was so close and questionable, that when he started doing crazy shit we were extra critical of it.  Not that he didn’t deserve extreme critisism, but it was even easier to hate him and be angry becuase of the 2000 election.  Also the contrast with the prosperous ninites made it easy to hate him.  On the other hand, the election of 2008 comes right after Bush’s reign and the psyoclogical mindfuck he put us all through, so Obama’s presidency will probably look great by comparison and maybe cement the popularity of liberal ideals for a generation.  Yeah.

On a day where we take one step closer to the world of 1984 with the re-branding of TSA headquarters as “the Freedom Center,” no, really, I feel the need to remind the world (or the 20 people who might read this) that the essential freedom America is about, the one we fought that big ‘ol war over, is freedom from tyranny.  I’m sure most of you know what that word means, but, just for the record, tyranny means “A government in which a single ruler is vested with absolute power.”  Hmmmm, so it’s not freedom from being blown up by terrorists?  No, not really.  That’s pretty hard to guarantee.  But a government in which a single ruler has absolute power…sound like any government you know?  I mean, sure, George Bush can declare anyone a terrorist for no particular reason and lock them up indefinitely without due cause, but that’s not absolute power right?  Sure he ignores the laws he doesn’t like, and makes up new ones without consulting congress, but that’s not absolute power.  I mean, he still derives his “just powers from the consent of the governed” right?  It’s not like he stole the last two elections.  Nah, tyranny is not even close to being a problem in these United States.  I mean, how could it be with fine institutions like the Freedom Center and the department of Homeland Security guaranteeing our freedom?  Nope, no one in history has ever used the guise of national securty to unjustly seize power, so one must be crazy to think that’s happening now.  I say we all just sit back and relax, I mean, we have a really humble and qualified civil servant running the show.  George Bush loves us, just like God loves George Bush.  And I’m just loving these motherfuckin’ freedom fries!

I can’t take this anymore.  Not that we didn’t see it coming, but today Karl Rove straight up ignored a congressional subpoena.  Fine, we were all expecting it.  The question is, what is congress going to do about it?  Because if Karl Rove isn’t in handcuffs real soon, I think I’m going to explode.  It’s just too much.  How long can we keep putting up with this bullshit?  A group of citizens should kidnap him and deliver him to congress if congress wont take take of this itself.  Or at least we should beat the shit out of him.  I mean, I don’t know why now but I’m really incensed over this.  That piece of shit ruins our country and breaks the law with impunity!  And what do we do, elect Obama?  That’s great but jesus christ if you break the law you need to be punished for it!  That’s the way it works.  Maybe I’ll just start robbing convenience stores right?  Because the rule of law clearly means nothing in this sad, hypocritical country.  Oh, unless you’re poor. Then the law applies with a vengeance.  Bush & co have been shitting on us for 8 years and we’ve just been eating it up.  Despicable.  We should all be ashamed.  I’m just, so angry right now.

According to a (unscientific) History News Network poll, 98.2% of historians questioned think the Bush presidency has been a failure. 1.8% think it was a success. It’s not too surprising, this just means the historians are doing their job. This has been a sad week for Mr Bush, first the Pope snubs him and now this. As for the 2% who think he’s a success, well, they must be out of their minds.