n a t b s » america

deux

Andrew — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:40:58 +0000

Andrew now has a women in his life that he cares deeply for. This does not jive well with hating society. Oh sure, she hates society too. And it helps. It’s part of the reason he loves her. But for a slave, falling in love can be a liability. It is a weakness to be exploited. If he has children with her, they too are weaknesses. Society has perverted these things into chains to make you further enslaved. So Andrew was torn, he was afraid to be with her. But she also provided him with real happiness, and joy. No, he won’t leave her, but he is terrified he’s going to lose her in some horrible way. Andrew was in a tough spot. Beyond that, his depression was catching up to him, mood swings and panic attacks were becoming the norm. Something needs to change. Perhaps he’d get more involved with the Occupy Wall St. movement. They seem to be fertile ground for change. It was, as always, a very interesting time to be alive. At least he had that. But what’s going to happen at the end of this year?

One Year Later

Andrew — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:19:41 +0000

Just happened to check on this thing exactly one year since my last post. Andrew is still going crazy. A lot of things are good in his life but all the fundamental problems still exist. Of course they do. They’re too deeply ingrained into all of history to simply disappear. And if they did, this blog would no longer exist. As long as I’m able to write this virtual thing in this virtual world on plastic keys, the problem persists. Did I just switch from 3rd to first person?

Yes.

The problem still persists. I’m more sure than ever that there is a problem and I’m not just crazy. But still, it persists.

I feel tingly right now.

The problem persists.

When things have been wrong your entire life, and your parents’ entire life, and their parents’ entire life, and their parent’s entire life etc. What do you do? It’s a monumental accomplishment just to realize things are wrong. And once you do, it’s even more monumental to convince others. And it’s even more difficult to change it.

It’ll probably just have to collapse on it’s own, and when it does, I’ll be ready.

The Secret

Andrew — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:00:29 +0000

Andrew was depressed. He knew something that few others did. Certainly he wasn’t arrogant enough to think he was the only one who had figured it out, but he was part of a select group that had. Oh sure, most people knew it on some level, hence the proliferation of anti-depressents and all forms of self-medication. Hence centuries of art and metaphor, hence the obviousness of it in the bible, and the book ishmael, and the show Battlestar Galactica, and the book land of the spotted eagle, and the book 1984, and etc etc etc. Most high art makes some allusion to it. People knew, but it was too big to admit. Perhaps he was just brave enough to admit it to himself, or stupid enough. What good was this knowledge? There’s very little you can do with it except be sad. Indeed, he was sad and he knew that there was no remedy, for the cause of his sadness was far too massive, far to unchangeable for one mere man to do anything about it. It would take an act of God to relieve his pain. And unfortunately for Andrew, God sure likes to take his sweet time.
The secret that was driving Andrew, and all of humanity, slowly mad was that he was a slave. That we are all slaves. Slaves to our own hubris, slaves to the idea that we know what to do and how to live and how to run things. Slaves to this great responsibility that we were never given but took for ourselves. Forced to work as hard as possible at destroying our own home, a precious gift from the universe that took billions of years to form, and we are wiping it out very quickly. So quickly in fact that Andrew wonders if it’s not already damaged beyond repair. Even if it isn’t it’s damaged far to much for him to enjoy it in his fleeting lifetime and this is what was depressing him. Yes, he was a slave, and so was everyone else. The master? Our hubris and greed and nothing more. Oh the irony, the painful, gut-wrenching irony. If it weren’t so sad it would be funny. Hell, it’s kinda funny anyway. Look at the fools, all convinced to death of their freedom yet all suffering from psychological problems that we cannot pinpoint, because a doctor will never tell you that you’re depressed because society is flawed. Why are we so self-destrutive and impudent and stupid? Andrew could thing of no good way to change the world so he thought he’d at least try to find out the answer to that question, perhaps that would help him determine a course of action…or at least understand the situation, just for understanding’s sake. If he could just undermine it even in the littlest way possible, that would ease the pain. Yes, had to find a way to undermine it, or risk losing his mind entirely.

Got A Job

Andrew — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 12:25:17 +0000

Got a job, the stress makes me sick. Want to get hit by a car, at least then I’ll enter a situation where people will help me just for being a human being in distress. But no not really! I need insurance. This is insanity, how did we get here?

I Don’t Know

Andrew — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 18:05:20 +0000

What to do when the whole world is crazy?

When “sanity” is anything but sane?

When you realize you’re hopelessly trapped?

When your mother is dying and your soul has been stolen?

What to do?

Land of the Spotted Eagle VII

Andrew — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:28:14 +0000

The Indian was a natural conservationist. He destroyed nothing, great or small. Destruction was not a part of Indian thought and action; if it had been, and had the man been the ruthless savage he has been acredited with being, he would have long ago preceded the European in the labor of destroying the natural life of this continent. The Indian was frugal in the midst of plenty. When the buffalo roamed the plains in the multitudes he slaughtered only what he could eat and these he used to the hair and bones. …

I know of no species of plant, bird, or animal that were exterminated until the coming of the white man. For some years after the buffalo disappeared there still remained huge herds of antelope, but the hunter’s work was no sooner done in the destruction of the buffalo than his attention was attracted toward the deer. They are plentiful now only where protected. The white man considered natural animal life just as he did the natural man life upon this continent, as ‘pests.’ Plants which the Indian found beneficial were also ‘pests.’ There is no word in the Lakota vocabulary with the English meaning of this word.

There was a great difference in the attitude taken by the Indian and the Caucasian toward nature, and this difference made of one a conservationist and of the other a non-conservationist of life. The Indian, as well as all other creatures that were given birth and grew, were sustained by the common mother — earth. He was therefore kin to all living things and he gave to all creatures equal rights with himself. Everything of earth was loved and reverenced. The philosophy of the Caucasian was, ‘Things of the earth, earthy’ — to be belittled and despised. Bestowing upon himself the position and title of a superior creature, others in the scheme were,in the natural order of things, of inferior position and title; and this attitude dominated his actions toward all things. The worth and right to live were his, thus he heartlessly destroyed. Forests were mowed down, the buffalo exterminated, the beaver driven to extinction and his wonderfully constructed dams dynamited, allowing flood waters to wreak further havoc, and the very birds of the air silenced. Great grassy plains that sweetened the air have been upturned; springs, streams, and lakes that have lived longer ago than my boyhood have dried, and a whole people harassed to degradation and death. The white man has come to be the symbol of extinction for all things natural to this continent. Between him and the animal there is no rapport and they have learned to flee from his approach, for they cannot live on the same ground.

New York City

Andrew — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:39:27 +0000

A woman and her poodle-with-a-coat walk past a freezing homeless person. An intellectual blogs about it from his iPhone.

Land of the Spotted Eagle V

Andrew — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:25:48 +0000

Two lovely legends of the Lakotas would be fine subjects for sculpturing — the Black Hills as the earth mother, and the story of the genesis of the tribe. Instead, the face of a white man is being outlined on the face of a stone cliff in the Black Hills. This beautiful region, of which the Lakota thought more than any other spot on earth, caused him the most pain and misery. These hills were to become prized by the white people for reasons far different from those of the Lakota. To the Lakota the magnificent forests and splendid herds were incomparable in value. To the white man everything was valueless except the gold in the hills. Toward the Indian the white people were absolutely devoid of sentiment, and when a people lack sentiment they are without compassion. So down went the Black Forrest and to death went the last buffalo, noble animal and immemorial friend of the Lakota. As for the people who were as native to the soil as the forests and the buffalo — well, the gold-seekers did not understand them and never have. The white man will never know the horror and the utter bewilderment of the Lakota at the wanton destruction of the buffalo. What cruelty has not been glossed over with the white man’s word — enterprise! If the Lakotas had been relinquishing any part of their territory voluntarily, the Black Hills would have been the last from the standpoint of traditional sentiment. So when by false treaties and trickery the Black Hills were forever lost, they were a broken people. The treaties, made supposedly to recompense them for the loss of this lovely region, were like all other treaties — worthless. But could the Lakota braves have foreseen the ignominy they were destined to endure, every man would have died fighting rather than give up his homeland to live in subjection and helplessness.

-Luther Standing Bear

Land of the Spotted Eagle IV

Andrew — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:14:16 +0000

The reputation of the Lakotas as fighting men spread among the white people, though not even with them was warfare sought until realization came to the people of the plains that they must fight or disappear as had the buffalo. Then their cause became a righteous one for the preservation of the race. For this the Lakotas have been put down in history as the ‘most warlike of all tribes.’ It was the French who called us the ‘Sioux,’ or ‘Enemy People,’ and other references have been made tot he tribe such as the “Mighty Sioux’ and the ‘Fighting Sioux.’

-Luther Standing Bear

Land of the Spotted Eagle II

Andrew — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:57:46 +0000

Such an education could not be confined to a certain length of time nor could one be ‘finished’ in a certain term of years. The training was largely of character, beginning with birth and continued throughout life. True Indian education was based on the development of individual qualities and recognition of rights. There was no ‘system’ no ‘rule or rote,’ as the white people say, in the way of Lakota learning. Not being under a system, children never had to ‘learn this today,’ or ‘finish this book this year’ or ‘take up’ some study just because ‘little Willie did.’ Native education was not a class education but one that strengthened and encouraged the individual to grow. When children are growing up to be individuals there is no need to keep them in a class or in line with one another.

Never were Lakota children offered rewards or medals for accomplishment. No child was ever bribed or given a prize for doing his best. No one ever said to a child, ‘Do this well and I will pay you for it.’ The achievement was the reward and to place anything above it was to put unhealthy ideas in the minds of children and make them weak.
-Luther Standing Bear